Am I age obsessed? It’s highly likely. I don’t really think so but if you asked me and I really thought about it I guess I would have to admit that I am a little age obsessed. Now, what do I mean by age obsessed? I mean holding on to my youth through beauty regimens, time at the gym and holding on to notions and memories from the past. I am definitely guilty of all these things. If it comes in a tube, bottle or jar and an esthetician can do it, I’ve done it. I spend time running on the treadmill because my doctor says I have high blood pressure but honestly it’s because I want to stay a size six. However, with age comes wisdom and damn am I thankful for that.
This photo was taken of the lead singer for Erasure. They played recently in San Francisco and they sold out five nights at the Independent. Erasure? Really? Yes, Erasure. The Independent holds only about 300 people but they sold out and sold out quickly. I listened to Erasure when I was young. I’m proud to be a product of the 80’s, we had the best genre of music. It was the cusp of Punk and the beginning of New Wave and Alternative and songs spoke to your emotions which were likely to be about anger, not surfing, ala the Beach Boys. I couldn’t afford to see my favorite groups back then. First of all, I would have had to go to Detroit because no one played in the town where I’m from originally. Second of all, I was working three part time jobs to put myself through school, and back then minimum wage was $3.50. I make a little more now and I am clearly making up for lost time. In one week I saw Peter Murphy, Erasure and Lenny Kravitz. What is on my iPod? Well, everything from Al Green, Johnny Cash and Tom Jones to Audioslave, Coldplay and Flipsyde.
When I saw Erasure that night, of course I reminisced about the old days. I was astonished to see the men of my youth as middle-aged men singing the songs of 20 years ago. Seeing the wrinkles and the balding head makes you remember just how old you are. A real shocker though was when I saw the Sex Pistols. Talk about middle aged paunch but there they were, the Sex Pistols. I even got back stage on that one. Not what you think it is cracked up to be I assure you. The greatest thing about that show however was the two high school kids I met while standing in line waiting to get in. They had taken the train in from the suburbs and were dressed to the punk hilt. It was fabulous. Behind me were even more and mixed among them were people older than me who were balding or in need of covering up the gray roots. It made me feel young. I really, really like that. I didn’t get much of a childhood at all so this may be my way of living out my youth. I don’t care however because I’m having a lot of fun and I know this keeps me young at heart and I would rather laugh until it hurts than cry until I die.
Most people will guess that my age is somewhere between 25 and 28. I love, love, love that. What I am most happy about though is that I’m not actually living in the past. It may not seem that way, but the last thing I want to do is to live in the past. It was not pleasant and the good memories are really few and far between. What I do is enjoy the past with a wider heart and a wiser mind. I’m not stuck in the past. I lectured at a high school photography school once and a week later saw three of the kids at a concert that included a lot of the current bands like The Killers. I was buying beer and they were making a poster. They thought I was totally cool and the best part of it was, I felt cool and I wasn’t even trying. If I were trying, I’d be living in the past.
It’s funny but in high school I so wanted to be accepted and a part of the cool crowd. I never fit in with anyone really. My friends were from the “outside” and many of them are still my friends to this day. Also, the friends that I have today are the greatest and most eclectic group of people. I adore them all and don’t need to prove a damn thing to any of them. My twenty-year high school reunion is coming up in two months and I know that I will be the cool crowd and after, I will walk away and not look back. Yes, I am youth obsessed and wouldn’t change it for a million dollars.